I've been training a variety of martial arts since 2005. About a year and a half ago, I mentioned to my then boyfriend and fellow training partner that I was interested in competing in a mixed martial arts fight. Without hesitation, his response to me was, "I don't want to see my baby get beat up by some big hairy legged lesbian." I was shocked, and to this day still am. At 5'7'' and 120lbs, I look more like a ballerina than a mixed martial artist. The other female instructor at our school is a petite 5'2'' 120lbs, and has an obsession with Tinkerbell. None of our female students could be described as butch or mistaken for men. My ex lived with, trained with, and was friends with female martial artists, and yet somehow managed to maintain this unjustified (and homophobic) she-male image of female fighters.
Not all men are like this. Just as female fighters cannot be stereotyped, neither can the men. Guys have a lot of different reactions to women on the mats. Some are uncomfortable being agressive with women, and handle us like porcelian dolls. Often, novice male students will use their strength and power to dominate women half their size in order to inflate their own egos. Some guys, whether they train or not, will see a woman's training as a threat, and others will find it a turn-on. While a woman may expect to run into a few negative personalities, if she ever finds herself being harassed or mistreated regularly, she should find another school. Ideally, women should feel like they're training with a room full of big brothers.
Personally, I understand that women mixing in a predominately male envrionment can be a complicated issue. It raises questions of gender roles, and can stir up strong emotions. While I believe that women belong wherever they choose to be, I feel that women should also try to work with their male counterparts to make everyone feel comfortable. Ladies need to communicate with their partners, and let them know what kind of resistance or power they want to work with. Any good partner will listen and be respectful.
I finally decided after five years of training to prepare myself for the ring/cage. Before Jiu-Jitsu class yesterday, I plopped down on the mats, glanced over at my ex, and told him, "Meet the newest fight team member." He looked at one of the new guys sitting next to me, and gave him a thumbs up. I rolled my eyes. "No, I was talking about myself," I said. Some guys will never get it, but you just have to keep fighting. Remember what Laila Ali says,"Rumble young girl, rumble."
OK I'm all for women being able to protect themselves. Just be careful you don't get your brains beat out of you. Ali's daughter seems to be a hero of yours. Remember a lot of folks think Ali's Parkinson's Disease was brought on by the abuse he received as a fighter. Alztimiers and Parkinson's does run in our family. What you do as a young person can have consequences for your later life. By the way I think you are an excellent writer. I'd give you an A. Uncle Greg (whose really your 2nd cousin)
ReplyDeleteI have never been a fighter nor do I ever want to do MMA because it is not for me. I do however enjoy watching it and I do know that there is a high possibility of injury. I have never seen two women fight but I would be open to watching. I do not know how much I would enjoy it but I am open to finding out. I think that if you can protect yourself and you feel confident than by all means go for it. However I would probably have the same reaction if my girlfriend said something like that, but I have never dated an athletic girl. So if you can do it than by all means do it.
ReplyDeleteBeyond the initial feelings of the apparent sexism in the MMA world, women have been known to shape the martial arts history just as skillfully as the men. Ali is a good example of this, but historically speaking, women have had their hands- and fists and feet, in many of the world's most well known fighting styles. Some have even gone to the great length of developing a new style. I don't see how this inequality can exist in today's dojo's, and perhaps it is my inexperience and naivety when it comes to martial arts, but how has this attitude not been more pervasive in today's MMA societies? Good post though, I really enjoyed reading it and was very intrigued by this article.
ReplyDeleteWhile it is true, you are putting yourself in a unique position when you choose to train and fight in this sport, I think it must be fascinating to observe the male reactions you mentioned. I wonder what field you will eventually work in? If it is male-dominated, then you are getting some excellent social training during your sparing and work-out sessions. These responses from the men you describe, from confusion to feeling threatened to not being taken seriously, go beyond the ring. They are in every male dominated career you might find yourself in. You are learning how to take care of yourself in more ways than one! I like your writing style. I say so, because even though I am not necessarily interested in martial arts or "being the only woman present", I understood and was interested in what you had to say.
ReplyDeleteGood Job,
Leslie
KEEP KICKING ASS, MEGHAN!
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that I'm really going to enjoy your blog, because I've actually never known a female fighter. This is really interesting, and I love how you're giving tips for females, since you've been there first hand.
Hell yes Meghan! That's why you kick ass
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