I've been training a variety of martial arts since 2005. About a year and a half ago, I mentioned to my then boyfriend and fellow training partner that I was interested in competing in a mixed martial arts fight. Without hesitation, his response to me was, "I don't want to see my baby get beat up by some big hairy legged lesbian." I was shocked, and to this day still am. At 5'7'' and 120lbs, I look more like a ballerina than a mixed martial artist. The other female instructor at our school is a petite 5'2'' 120lbs, and has an obsession with Tinkerbell. None of our female students could be described as butch or mistaken for men. My ex lived with, trained with, and was friends with female martial artists, and yet somehow managed to maintain this unjustified (and homophobic) she-male image of female fighters.
Not all men are like this. Just as female fighters cannot be stereotyped, neither can the men. Guys have a lot of different reactions to women on the mats. Some are uncomfortable being agressive with women, and handle us like porcelian dolls. Often, novice male students will use their strength and power to dominate women half their size in order to inflate their own egos. Some guys, whether they train or not, will see a woman's training as a threat, and others will find it a turn-on. While a woman may expect to run into a few negative personalities, if she ever finds herself being harassed or mistreated regularly, she should find another school. Ideally, women should feel like they're training with a room full of big brothers.
Personally, I understand that women mixing in a predominately male envrionment can be a complicated issue. It raises questions of gender roles, and can stir up strong emotions. While I believe that women belong wherever they choose to be, I feel that women should also try to work with their male counterparts to make everyone feel comfortable. Ladies need to communicate with their partners, and let them know what kind of resistance or power they want to work with. Any good partner will listen and be respectful.
I finally decided after five years of training to prepare myself for the ring/cage. Before Jiu-Jitsu class yesterday, I plopped down on the mats, glanced over at my ex, and told him, "Meet the newest fight team member." He looked at one of the new guys sitting next to me, and gave him a thumbs up. I rolled my eyes. "No, I was talking about myself," I said. Some guys will never get it, but you just have to keep fighting. Remember what Laila Ali says,
"Rumble young girl, rumble."
