I love you man.

There's this saying around jiu-jitsu gyms that "It's only gay if you make eye contact." Now I won't get into the sexualization of grappling (for more on that subject, ask the Greeks and Romans). But I think the joke is interesting because it points out, albeit it in a homophobic manner, something crucial about the martial arts- love. Calm down. Breathe. Yes, I'm talking about love and jiu-jitsu in the same sentence without resorting to adolescent gay jokes. You can make fun of it all you want, but the truth is that martial arts pulls together a myriad of people from vastly different backgrounds and builds them into a community, a family. Like many families it's strange, rather sadistic, and yes there's that one uncle we don't talk about, but in the end, loving in it's own way.

Still, it's probably a good idea to remember what Sensei Erik Paulsen says about the North-South grappling position: "Some people call this position the sixty-nine. We, do not."

Here are some of my martial arts family photos.